YetiThink

Rabbi Taragin on YouTube

2009-05-18T16:13:00.002-05:00

Yes - one can now experience Rabbi Taragin's inspirational hashkafa from afar. His videos may be found at http://www.youtube.com/user/moshetaragin.

Laughing With Myself, Not At Myself

2009-05-13T18:08:00.002-05:00

Due to an old post of mine, the phrase "IDF headgear" on Google image search returns some rather unlikely results. Namely, the sombreros and the black hats are my doing. Bwahahahahahahahaha!

Empty Case

2009-05-13T17:45:00.005-05:00

I just helped install this bakery case. It is now empty (or, alternatively, contains hole-based cakes and whatnot). However, it will soon be filled with all sorts of delicious things that come out of an oven. Optimally, this will make a trip to Zelda's even more delicious than before. On a related note, Zelda's now has a facebook page, which will occasionally give out online discounts to those in the know (i.e. everyone on Facebook).

Hadran Alach

2009-04-12T15:18:00.003-05:00

... Masechet Chagiga! This is my first siyum in quite a while, and I wanted to share the joy. I am having the siyum here at my parents' house, which is very appropriate, in that the korban chagiga was eaten on the holiday with friends and family. There are going to be a few friends coming whom I haven't seen in variously long periods of time. I am really looking forward to this!

Sacrifices

2009-03-30T15:34:00.000-05:00

The korbanot discussed in the parshiyot we are now reading consist of two paradigms: That of the olah and that of the shelamim. The olah is completely burnt on the Altar, and represents God as a "consuming fire." Man cannot approach Him without being destroyed by the light of His magnificence and power. The shelamim, on the other hand, represents the viability of a relationship between God and man, as it is consumed partially by the Altar and partially by man. The chatat is brought by a sinner, and represents his inability to maintain a relationship with God due to (and through) his sins.

A World

2009-03-16T08:55:00.000-05:00

How can you know that others experience reality in the same way that you do? We usually assume that there is an objective reality that everyone lives in, but is this actually the case? Perhaps my understanding of reality differs wildly from yours. This could range from nonessential differences such as the color of the sky (and the meaning of the word "blue") to more important ones, such as the existence of the state of Israel. Of course, as I noted about the color "blue", any difference would entail numerous subsidiary changes as well, especially to the meaning of language, but also to the meaning of sights, sounds and other sensory input which would by necessity mean one thing to me, and another to you. Taken to extremes, this could in theory mean that you are in fact locked up in a nuthouse while "experiencing" the world in the solitude of your own mind. However, we will make the assumption that this is not the case.

In fact, reality, i.e. the world we live in, is malleable, in specific ways. While there are certain objective facts such as "2+2=4", and "Barack Obama flubbed the presidential oath," there are numerous little details that shape the flavor of experiential reality which are open to interpretation. This includes statements like "the world is bright and sunny today" as opposed to "the glaring sun is beating down upon the earth." These two statements describe an identical reality, but the experience of the people who make these statements (which are framed as objective facts) is strikingly different.

A given situation can be framed in different ways because of a technicality in the way we receive input about the world - the brain filters out "irrelevant" stimuli. In a given situation, we do not perceive all that is available to our senses. For instance, what is the brand of your computer monitor? You definitely have seen it - it is only a few inches from your point of focus - but it just didn't register in your mind. In a similar way, everyone experiences different aspects of a given situation. For example, in a social situation some people might tend to focus more on people's facial expressions, while others might pay more attention to body language or perhaps the arrangement of people's positions in a room. There is a whole spectrum of perception, though, because we perceive details at varying levels of consciousness. This ranges from what we are actively thinking about at a given moment to those things that affect us in minute ways without our knowledge. Each of these various dimensions of perception makes a given person's experience of the world unique.

According to the Talmud, each person represents an entire world. Given the above, we can see how true this is. Each person defines a world through their own perception and individuality. The miracle of our mutual existence in the same world means that we can be influenced by others' worldviews and that we can influence others. The worlds in which each of us live can, and do, change day by day. Make your world a good one.

I'm Back

2009-03-04T23:25:00.001-06:00

Greetings, denizens of the internet! I, the great Yeti of ancient lore, return to you, and will presently bestow upon you all great pearls of wisdom and humour as was my wont in times past.

God's Hidden Immanence, Part 1

2008-01-20T08:52:00.000-06:00

Why teleological (design-based) arguments for or against the existence of God have no significance.

It is well-accepted that God does not make himself manifestly knowable to humans. This decision on His part does make some sense. For example, if He had left the message "God was here" in the shape of several islands in the South Pacific, or better yet, in a constellation, we would have little excuse not to believe in Him, and to strive to follow His will.

To expect to find that message elsewhere, such as in our DNA or the behavior of a certain animal, is equally ridiculous.

This means that an argument for the existence of God by natural design cannot be a convincing one. There will never be an argument that can absolutely prove God's existence from nature, because we know from experience that God does not provide us with absolute demonstrations of His existence in nature.

On the flip side, an apparent lack of Godly oversight in evolution should not come as a surprise. If the processes of evolution bespoke an intelligent oversight, this suspicious coincidence would constitute a proof of God's existence, which, as we said, He doesn't give us.

A note: Belief in God leads us to believe that the process of evolution is, in fact, governed by His intelligence. However, saying that the purpose of each trait is not obvious to us does not mean it isn't there. In fact, the same is true of all natural processes and events, which are ordained by God for His own purposes. The infinite nature of God's intelligence means that we cannot expect to know the purpose(s) behind every event, though we can try to.

In truth, though, the message of God's existence is everywhere in nature. There isn't just one constellation or cluster of islands telling us He did it - there are millions. Every aspect of nature says "God was here" - but we need first to learn to read the language it's written in.

In Which I Anger Environmentalists Everywhere

2008-01-03T00:32:00.000-06:00

What's the big deal with invasive species? If a species is introduced to a new environment and thrives there, what's the problem?

There are a couple usual answers that come to mind:

1. It is killing off the native species
2. It is creating a situation in which there is little genetic diversity

Are these legitimate concerns? Returning to my original tenor, what's the big deal if native species are being killed off? We tend to mourn the loss of a species that has gone extinct - but such is life. Natural selection is, well, natural, isn't it?

As for the second concern, it seems to deal with two issues: the genetic diversity of the few native species that remain; and the genetic diversity of the environment as a whole, which is now composed much more substantially of the invasive species. As for the native species, I think I've already shown my lack of compassion for them. Concern for the genetic diversity of the invasive species seems to make even less sense. I would think environmentalists would feel that justice had been well served if some threat were to come along and devastate the evil invasive species.

In fact, we wouldn't be here if it weren't for an extinction-level event (and we're talking about the whole planet here), so can extinction (besides for ours) really be that bad?

I think we should only be concerned about invasive species if there appears to be some negative impact to us humanfolk. For example, if there's a threat to crops that we need, or trees that we think are pretty. But I don't think we should just try to maintain environmental "purity." In many cases, we could better use our resources elsewhere.

Do I Still Exist?

2007-11-15T22:08:00.000-06:00

Why not ask ask.com?

Evil Mad Scientist recently pointed out that ask.com will helpfully offer some pretty weird search suggestions.

NeedCoffee.com wants to know if they need to watch their backs:

Here's some evidence that people may be putting a bit too much confidence in ask.com:

Evidence that certain members of our government use ask.com:

Seriously, guys - get a rebbe.

Last year, Ask.com phased out Jeeves. Some people love the new service:

But some liked things the way they were.

Now, these folks may not necessarily find the results they're looking for:

If you need more ask.com silliness, the entries from Evil Mad Scientists' competition can be seen at http://www.flickr.com/groups/evilmadscience/pool/.

Vids

2007-08-07T13:10:00.001-05:00

I thought I'd share a few videos that I've been enjoying recently.

The first video is Rotzeh Mitzvot, a song parody by religious Israeli comedian Yair Orbach. You don't have to understand Hebrew to appreciate the video, but it helps.

Second, Protocols, by musician Rav Shmuel, in which he blatantly reveals certain well-held secrets of the Jewish people.

Video 3 is completely different. It shows a new type of space-launch technology being developed by Armadillo Aerospace, and how the device can fly around and maneuver really nicely.

Everyone Else is Insane

2007-05-30T18:13:00.000-05:00

Someone please explain to me why people are so excited about the Chicago Spire, which recently received a necessary zoning change.

What in the world does this building have going for it? It's one of the stupidest-looking buildings I've ever seen, and it doesn't look anything like the other buildings in Chicago. If that weren't enough, it would also make the city look lopsided.

In twenty years everyone will wake up and realize it's the 2000's version of the metallic jumpsuit. Just because you can build something doesn't mean you should. I wouldn't be disappointed if the whole thing fell into the lake.

Beautiful

2007-05-28T12:39:00.000-05:00

What's wrong with looking at the world through rose-colored glasses? It looks so much prettier that way.

Middle of the Road

2007-04-22T18:06:00.000-05:00

If I'm liberally conservative and conservatively liberal, does that make me a centrist? It should, shouldn't it?

Scientists: Pi has 762 digits

2007-04-02T00:44:00.000-05:00

In case you don't trust the scientists, who are always changing their bloody minds, here are the ~762 digits of pi, for your inspection:

3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510
58209749445923078164062862089986280348253421170679
82148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128
48111745028410270193852110555964462294895493038196
44288109756659334461284756482337867831652712019091
45648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273
72458700660631558817488152092096282925409171536436
78925903600113305305488204665213841469519415116094
33057270365759591953092186117381932611793105118548
07446237996274956735188575272489122793818301194912
98336733624406566430860213949463952247371907021798
60943702770539217176293176752384674818467669405132
00056812714526356082778577134275778960917363717872
14684409012249534301465495853710507922796892589235
42019956112129021960864034418159813629774771309960
51870721134999999, etc.

Thanks to Richard Feynman, who is not really dead, but has been playing a practical joke on all of us for the last 19 years. Long live Feynman!

Teachers of Science

2007-03-25T19:46:00.000-05:00

Here's a great comic by XKCD, which I was recently introduced to by a friend.

Do You Even Know What You're Saying?

2007-03-21T19:08:00.000-05:00

Added to the list of things that really get on my nerves:

People who sing Adon Olam while being painfully obvious about how much they love the sound of their own voice. Same goes for Yedid Nefesh.

Unsuspended Disbelief

2007-03-11T16:16:00.000-05:00

From a TV show I saw recently:

"They're nearly three hours ahead of us- but this vessel is faster."

Nitpicking - Some Thoughts on Despair

2007-02-27T15:25:00.000-06:00

"Lakol zman va'et tahat hashamayim" - "There is a time for everything under the heavens," says King Solomon. I always like to find exceptions to a rule, and I have to admit that it would be no small boost to my ego to show that the smartest man who ever lived was wrong.

So I ask: Does this include despair? What possible situation could there be in which it would be right to despair? If we are to believe that God watches over us and guides our lives, despair would be a no-confidence vote in God. Despair leads to inaction, a hopelessness that one could ever change the present situation. But we are meant to act - otherwise why are we here on this earth?

I think that perhaps the answer lies in the fact that despair is itself a combination of two emotions: sadness and resignation, each of which are appropriate at times in and of themselves. Certainly we should be sad when we hear or see injustice and pain. Resignation is also important at times. Specifically, a person should resign himself to the ideas inherent in the morals passed down to us by the Rabbis. To accept that one should work for God's ends and not his own takes a certain amount resignation. It seems that this act of surrender, though it makes eminent sense, is rarely if ever achieved. Nonetheless, it is valid and even important. After all, this world is of God's making, not our own. He gives us the opportunity to work alongside Him in its perfection, but to think that one could ever have an everlasting impact on the world if God did not desire it is plainly erroneous.

So, surprise, surprise, King Solomon was right, and my question was faulty. But the point remains. Despair is not an option. It is only possible for a person to despair because he does not posses a full and complete understanding of God's plans and goals. If he did, he would see that things are quite in order, and that the scene is ready for him to take the next steps that God has laid out for him.

Perp Being Held For Questioning

2006-12-13T18:16:00.000-06:00

Officials would not say whether they believed that Lettuce was working alone or part of a larger operation. Reports indicate the possibility of organically grown produce cells operating in the U.S. at this time. Spokesmen for vegetable-interest groups have distanced themselves from the attack, and assert that Lettuce's actions are in no way reflective of the vegetable community as a whole.

OK. I'm finished now.

Google: Not Evil?

2006-11-26T15:13:00.000-06:00

Well, Google has shut down a group that was reverse engineering their product, Google Earth. But they did it really nicely. Somehow I just don't see something like this happening with Microsoft. Microsoft's response would probably be something more along these lines.

Unity

2006-11-01T21:57:00.000-06:00

As science progresses closer and closer to a unified Theory of Everything, we may be able to better understand the profound concept of God's unity. According to many Jewish philosophers, God is the ultimate perfection, which can not be superceded in any way whatsoever. And yet, we percieve Him in a variety of ways, according to, at minimum, His thirteen attributes. Sometimes we will experience God's pleasure, and at other times His wrath (and at other times we are not sure which), but in essence He is perfect, unchanging, and the ultimate Unity.

It is interesting that this is exactly what modern physicists would have us believe about the structure of the world. Newton began this journey by equating the motion of the celestial spheres with the force of gravity here on earth. Maxwell equated the electrical and magnetic forces, and laid the ground for the eventual inclusion of light and other radiation under electro-magnetic theory. Einstein would have us believe that time and space are one and the same.

Perhaps the best-known expression of the idea of multiplicity resulting from basic unity is the periodic table. There is absolutely no difference between one element and another except for the number of protons, neutrons and electrons it contains. These three basic particles result in the entire array of elements and compounds which we are familiar with, from oxygen to uranium to table salt. All the wild differences between the elements can be attributed to these three essential particles, interacting according to the nuclear and electric forces, resulting in the very, very, interesting world in which we live.

Somewhere out there, we believe, there is one perfect and beautiful equation, from which all the laws of physics – all the forces and interactions we see in the everyday world – proceed inevitably.

This analagous to the concept of God's unity. Somehow, as a result of His simultaneously simple and grand perfection, we find ourselves in a simultaneously perfect and lacking world, with the mission to perfect it.

Perhaps the fundamental equation, when we find it, will help us to better understand the most important natural relationship of all – the relationship between God and His creations.

Poetry for Physicists

2006-10-16T14:18:00.000-05:00

A friend of a friend started a facebook group advocating equal rights for physics majors - if English majors can take a dumbed-down "physics for poets" class, why shouldn't science majors have the option of taking the same type of English class? (Besides for the fact that we're smarter than them and can handle it.)

Since facebook requires registration, I here provide an excerpt from the group's charter:

We men and women of science have long been suffering in silence, but we cannot allow this outrage to continue. As of now, we demand justice. We will throw off the 10.0 kg chains of opression at a velocity of 10.0 meters/second downward with a downward acceleration of 9.80 meters/second discounting air resistance, imparting a velocity of 61.0 m/s, a kinetic energy of 3,7100 J, a momentum of 610 kg(m)/s, and a quantum wavelength of 1.09x10^-36 meters after 5.20 seconds of freefall! This is our fight and we will win. Our cause is just.

Here is my suggestion for some sample poetry that such a course might cover:

My Thoughts

I think.
I think I think.
I think a thought I thought to think.

I think a thought I think I think.
I think I think a thought I think.

I think I thought I think I think.
I think I think I thought I think.

I think I think I think I think.

I think I think too much,
I think.

Yes! We Have No Bananas Today!

2006-09-22T08:29:00.000-05:00

That's the sign they should have had up in the YU Caf Store today.

This is why I should be in charge.

And oh, yes - A Ketivah Veḥatimah Tovah to everyone!

I'm No Fun Anymore

2006-08-31T21:42:00.000-05:00

And now, thanks to the incredible power of the internets, I bring you- the origin of the Yeti Spotter, which is well known to those who know it well, etc.

Today, He Is A Fountain Pen

2006-08-12T22:05:00.000-05:00

My brother Etan had his Bar Mitzvah today. As part of the celebration, I was compelled to compose a speech about his siyum mishnayot, in which he completed Seder Mo'ed. I figure I'll post it here and get double my money's worth:

(emphasis was to aid delivery)

In Parshas Ekev, Moshe describes the land of Israel, which Bnei Yisrael are about to enter. He calls it,

ח:ט אֶרֶץ, אֲשֶׁר לֹא בְמִסְכֵּנֻת תֹּאכַל-בָּהּ לֶחֶם—לֹא‑תֶחְסַר כֹּל, בָּהּ; אֶרֶץ אֲשֶׁר אֲבָנֶיהָ בַרְזֶל, וּמֵהֲרָרֶיהָ תַּחְצֹב נְחֹשֶׁת.‏
8:9 ... a land in which you shall eat bread without scarcity, you shall not lack anything in it; a land whose stones are iron, and from its hills you shall mine copper.

Interestingly, however, in a few weeks we will read in the תוכחה:

כח:כג וְהָיוּ שָׁמֶיךָ אֲשֶׁר עַל‑רֹאשְׁךָ, נְחֹשֶׁת; וְהָאָרֶץ אֲשֶׁר-תַּחְתֶּיךָ, בַּרְזֶל.‏
28:23 your skies that are over your head will be copper; the earth that is under you will be iron.

In our parsha, the ground being iron is a blessing, but in the תוכחה, it is a curse. How are we to understand this?

Rav Hirsch points out that the curse in the תוכחה is written in the singular – your skies will be copper, and your ground will be iron, implying that the curses will be directed specifically at Bnei Yisrael, but will not affect others.

I'd like to take this one step further, and suggest that the very same conditions which were previously the source of blessing can become a curse, if G‑d so desires.

Allow me to share with you a gematria which I came across as I was preparing this dvar Torah. I don't usually put much faith in gematrias, but for this one I'm willing to make an exception.

Etan (has just made / is about to make) a siyum on Seder Mo'ed. Seder Mo'ed contains 681 mishnayot. The gematria of Etan's full name, איתן ברוך, is 689. I know – that's 8 more than the number of mishnayot. But remember that for his Bar Mitzvah Etan has also prepared the seven aliyot of Parshas Ekev and the Haftorah.

Altogether, Etan has learnt 689 pieces for his Bar Mitzvah, the full value of his Hebrew name. What this shows, and I can tell you that this is true, is that Etan has put all of his efforts into preparing for today, and deserves a big yasher koach.

But wait – there's more. Six hundred and eighty nine, as I'm sure you noticed, is a multiple of 13. Six hundred and eighty nine divided by 13 is 53. What's 53? Well, 53 happens to be the gematria of a word in Parshas Ekev. That word is הַחַיִל . The passuk says,

יז וְאָמַרְתָּ, בִּלְבָבֶךָ: כֹּחִי וְעֹצֶם יָדִי, עָשָׂה לִי אֶת-הַחַיִל הַזֶּה.‏
יח וְזָכַרְתָּ, אֶת-ה' אֱלֹהֶיךָ--כִּי הוּא הַנֹּתֵן לְךָ כֹּחַ, לַעֲשׂוֹת חָיִל: לְמַעַן הָקִים אֶת‑בְּרִיתוֹ אֲשֶׁר-נִשְׁבַּע לַאֲבֹתֶיךָ, כַּיּוֹם הַזֶּה.‏
17 You may say in your heart: 'My power and the strength of my own hand have gotten me this wealth.'
18 But you shall remember Hashem your G‑d, for He is the one that gives you the power to get wealth, that He may uphold His promise which He swore to your forefathers, as this day.

Moshe tells the Bnei Yisrael that when one enjoys wealth, it is his responsibility to attribute that wealth to its true source – G‑d. This acknowledgment, seemingly, doesn't change a single thing. Whether a man recognizes that his wealth comes from G‑d or not, the dollar amount on his bank statement will not change one bit. What the acknowledgment accomplishes is a change in perspective. The man understands now that while he may have the strength to achieve wealth, it was G‑d that gave him that strength. G‑d will reward our change in perspective by changing his perspective toward us, and imbuing our lives with blessing.

Etan, for the first 13 years of his life, has enjoyed much חַיִל, much wealth and opportunities, wealth which most people take for granted. He has not had to worry about having enough food to eat, about having heating in the winter or air conditioning in the summer. In this technological age, we have many conveniences which were never enjoyed by the richest men of past generations. Now, as Etan becomes Bar Mitzvah, it is his responsibility to come to recognize that all of these things are made possible – yes, through the power of man – but, ultimately, by G‑d Himself.

Yasher koach, Etan, and may you go מחיל אל חיל.

The First Lesson of Being A Yeti

2006-07-27T21:42:00.000-05:00

Why hello, people. You'll be happy to hear that my long absence was entirely intentional. Yes, sir. In honor of my exceptionally long absence, I was awarded the Invisibility Prize by the Council of Yetis.

What? You don't believe me? You think I'm a liar? Humph. How then, do you explain this magnificent trophy?

I hope that is enough to convince you that I am, at the very least, a liar with some basic ability in Photoshop.

I suppose that part of the reason why I haven't posted in a while is that my desire to tell people things is currently being expended on Wikipedia... But who knows? This post may be a new beginning, and you may be seeing more of me around here in the future.

I'll Write Something About This Later

2006-05-21T20:41:00.000-05:00

Really, I will. Or not.

The Adrian Monks among you will notice that I am using Firefox at a YU computer station. Hmmm...

IDF Searches for Silliest Headgear

2006-05-08T18:20:00.000-05:00

Personally, I can not understand why the beret is used in military uniforms. Who, exactly, decided that it's a good idea for soldiers to wear hats that looked like they've just deflated?

However, the IDF seems to have found an even odder form of headgear for its soldiers to wear: mushroom hats(?!). Apparently, their objective is to protect soldiers from the hot Israeli sun. I think, if they try a little, they might be able to find an alternative solution that doesn't make their soldiers look like the cat in the hat.

Pictures uncourteously stolen from Jpost.com

Programming Prose

2006-04-06T22:58:00.000-05:00

A while ago, I clicked on a link and recieved a very interesting error message. I wish that I'd bookmarked it, because I can't seem to find it anymore. It went something like this:

The web page you seek
Floats and weaves on the spring wind.
404 not found.

Yes, a haiku. Much more pleasant than the usual 404.

In my search to rediscover that page, I've found some more (probably never used) haiku error messages:

A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

Your hard drive has been
restored to factory state.
All data is lost.

Patience soothes the mind.
This page will load as you wish.
Eventually.

This error page is not a haiku, but visit it anyway for a laugh...

I Beg to Differ

2006-03-14T11:03:00.000-06:00

For a while now, I've been friends with myself on facebook. Today I was messing around a bit, and tried to poke myself:

Hmmph. I'm sure I could poke myself if I gave it the old college try.

Breaking News

2006-03-09T18:48:00.000-06:00

Seeing as it's been over a month since I last posted anything here, and since Purim's just around the corner, I offer a post for general consumption.

The following is an article which I wrote for the Purim edition of the YU Commentator. It's not clear whether it will actually be in the paper, since I submitted it pretty late (today). So if it is, you get a sneak peek here. I think it's safe to assume that what I write on my blog stays on my blog, relying on the halachah that lashon hara told to less than three people is not considered to be in the public domain. Oh, and it's funnier if you've learned messechet kiddushin.

YU Student Pretends to Be Kohein, Found to Be Leivi
Marriage Called Off
by Dunn Itagen

Drawn faces greeted visitors to the apartment of Ester Eisberg last Monday, as Eisberg recovered from the shock of discovering that her fiancée, YU Student Yoni Sheinenblatt, was not a kohein, as he had claimed.

"If he lied to me about being a kohein, what else has he been hiding from me?" asked Eisberg, wiping tears from her eyes. "He told me that he was a ba'al korei, but now that I think about it, I've only ever heard him lein two pesukim."

Sheinenblatt's friends were also stunned to find that he was not, in fact, a kohein. "I really just can't believe it. All those times that he was the only 'kohein' in shul... and how he was always makpid to get a haircut every thirty days... now I just don't know what to think," said bewildered friend Asher Baharbanu.

Whether the Sheinenblatt-Eisberg marriage will take place as planned is far from clear. On March 2, Sheinenblatt offered Eisberg twenty-three dates as kiddushin, but it is not known if Eisberg intended to accept all of the dates, or only the last one. The kiddushin was originally to have taken effect thirty days after that time. However, Sheinenblatt has since gone overseas, and his current whereabouts are unknown.

Incredibly, this is not the first such tragedy to strike the Eisberg family. According to Ester's mother, Elaine Eisberg, "My sister-in-law, Ella, had a boyfriend who proposed to her with a bundle of vegetables in the middle of a grocery store. Needless to say, that relationship ended abruptly. And our cousin, Erin, had this crazy mixup when she came over from Ireland with her two servants. I don't know how or why, but there just seems to be something about Eisbergs that attracts these kind of titanic tragedies."

Not everyone was sympathetic to Eisberg's plight, however. Says fellow Stern Student Tsippy Statsenstein, "I'd actually rather marry a leivi than a kohein. After all, who needs a shoe that's bigger than their foot?"

Also, via wiggin, a very important development in the field of military outreach.

To make things more fun, I have included a number of Purim Eggs in the article. How can you find them? Well, I will give you one pointer: It's really easy. Yes, there was a word italicized in that last sentence. I will say no more.

One last thing. I certainly couldn't miss this opportunity to publicize OnlyTzaras, which is back this year for another round, including a few tzaras by yours truly. Truly. See if you can figure out which ones I made. What's that? You want a prize? Well, here's the best I can do for you: If you correctly name two out of the three tzaras I wrote, I'll either 1)single you out for praise 2)mention your achievements or 3)pick on you in a future post. What more could you ask for?

Chag Purim Sameach!

Just One Stiplification

2006-02-02T23:16:00.000-06:00

While there is the worry that the excitement of my publishing two posts in one day may give my readers a heart attack, I shall proceed anyway, because I really don't care that much about y'all. Really, I don't.

Anyway, this is just a general question, to those who have not yet been carted away by the paramedics: Does anyone out there besides me believe that "stiplify" is an actual English word? You see, until recently, I was convinced that it was, and am having a hard time accepting that it ain't.

My Illegal Operation Got Shut Down

2006-02-02T22:56:00.000-06:00

I just started up Excel on on of YU's computer stations, and a box pops up telling me:

Microsoft Excel can't proofread Korean text. This feature is not installed.
Would you like to install it now?

As many of you know, I am not Korean. Nor am I wont to type in Korean. I am quite befuddled as to why Microsoft Excel is asking me to install said feature. For now, it will have to remain a mystery.

If you, or someone you know, has information pertaining to why Microsoft Excel is trying to proofread Korean text, please contact Unsolved Mysteries at 1-800-876-5353, or at www.unsolved.com.

URLazy

2006-01-30T22:38:00.000-06:00

I Am Lazy. I found this out a little while ago when trying to get to the Wikipedia site. You see, I accidentally typed in the address while my keyboard was in Hebrew mode( " '''ץ'ןלןפקגןשץבםצ " ) and up pops a website letting me know what a lazy bum I am for not switching back to English, and forwarding me to the actual Wikipedia site.

How does it work? Well, according to URLazy's About page, by magic.

Oh, yeah. And I suppose I might be lazy for not updating this blog more often. I'll ponder that for another couple weeks.

Council of the Yeti Resolution #354

2005-12-21T19:54:00.000-06:00

WHEREAS this weblog, colloquially known as YetiThink, was inaugurated approximately six weeks ago, as a vehicle for the Poster, hereafter known as the First Party, to disseminate his propaganda, hereafter referred to as Musings, to the general populace,

CONSIDERING that this Project was begun with the explicit and implicit Intent that new posts should be made with Regularity, enabling those, hereafter referred to as the Second Party, who would enjoy the reading of aforementioned posts, to, in fact, enjoy reading said posts,

INASMUCH as there have been no new posts of consequence for the past three weeks, in effect breaching this implicit Agreement between the First Party and the Second Party, smashing it to tiny bits and pounding it into the ground,

WHEREAS I was not invited to the Second Party, and Noone came to the First Party, and the Chips were quite stale in any event,

STIPULATING that if any of the Parties participating in this Agreement is shown not to be in their right mind, the entire Agreement is automatically nullified,

EXPECTORATING the Chips, which were really not very good at all,

IMPLYING that I will now make posts on a more regular basis, although not actually saying so explicitly,

THEREFORE, let it be known, declared, and generally proclaimed that I shall perhaps maybe possibly think about making more posts sometime soon.

AMENDMENT I
The sixth clause, i.e. the Expectoration Clause, shall henceforth be considered Null and Void, in deference to the sensibilities of notable propogandees of YetiThink. Rather, the Chips shall be swallowed, but with a grim Face, and the number of Chips shall not exceed three(3).

Not Fair

2005-12-01T22:33:00.000-06:00

This Shabbos, there will be a much-advertised Shabbaton from YU, for which we will be going up to someplace in Connecticut, where we will, apparently, bond with each other. I'm rather looking forward to it.

But I was quite dismayed when I read this week's Shabbos schedule (for those who will be on the YU campus, and not on the Shabbaton). In particular, there will be a shiur given before lunch, on the topic of, "Is it assur to wear your tzitzis out?" I wish I didn't have to miss that. Of course, on the whole, the Shabbaton promises to be quite enjoyable.

As I sign off for this week, I leave you with this somewhat annoying, somewhat addictive, somewhat disturbing thought.

Biodegradable LEDs

2005-12-01T22:22:00.000-06:00

Check out this article. The gist of it is that apparently some butterflies' colors are generated in the same way an LED produces light. Cool. Does this mean I could light a room with African swallowtail butterflies?

Of course, the real question is, how does this affect the butterfly's airspeed velocity when carrying a coconut?

Lesson From A Gemara

2005-11-21T13:47:00.000-06:00

I'd like to share a piece of gemara which I learned today.

The mishnah on Daf 46b in Kiddushin is on the topic of (perhaps a bit predictably) kiddushin. One way for a man to be mekadeish a woman is by giving the woman a nominal payment or an item which is worth at least a p'rutah. This mishnah discusses a case where a man is mekadeish a woman by giving her a number of dates. This is just fine, says the mishnah, as long as the dates are together worth at least a p'rutah. But how about if she eats each individual date as he gives it to her? The mishnah says that the kiddushin will take effect as long as one of the dates is worth a p'rutah. After some discussion, the gemara concludes that the mishnah means to tell us that the kiddushin will only take effect if the last date is worth a p'rutah, but the other dates can not accomplish anything at all.

And now, the punch line.

We see from here that it's a bad idea to propose to a girl on the first date.

Ba-dum ching.

Fun With Words

2005-11-15T21:50:00.000-06:00

Last Saturday night, I was playing Balderdash at a friends house. The game revolves around making up definitions to odd-sounding (but real) words. For your enjoyment, here are some of our definitions:

fussocking: The battle cry of an Asiatic tribe which wears socks on their hands and mittens on their feet
derwinter: What comes after der spring
doramania: An obsession with owning fur coats*

And now you all know what I do on Saturday nights. Or, more precisely: (Ex)(Ey)(Sx & By & Pmyx)**

On the subject of funny words, I got a real kick out of this: (found here)

C:\DOS>
C:\DOS>RUN
RUN\DOS>RUN!

*this is, in fact, the actual meaning of "doromania"
**where S is the property of being a Saturday night, B is the property of being a game of Balderdash, P is the relationship of (1) playing (2) on (3), m is Eliyahu, and the domain is, of course, the universal domain. If you don't understand, just ask Mr. Lemon.

"I Said, 'I'm in a Library!' What?"

2005-11-08T23:20:00.000-06:00

I'm in the YU library, and someone is currently talking a bit too loudly on their phone. They actually said, "Yes, I'm in the library." I heard it quite clearly.

That is all.

Return of the Yeti

2005-11-08T21:03:00.000-06:00

I'm back! Granted, I'm not in quite the same place as before, but I think that it can be safely said that back is what I am. Yes, it's a different web address; no, don't ask. I won't explain unless you really pester me for a long time.

On a completely random note, I was surfing the web today when this ad came up.

Ouch. Perhaps I should have warned you not to look if you have delicate eyes or are subject to epileptic seizures. At any rate, I looked up the site which hosts the ad, for the reason that I use a tool called Adblock, which works in firefox to make ads disappear. I love it. The thing is, it needs to be programmed with keys, such as "*/ads/*", which tells Adblock not to show any item which is located in a folder called "ads." So- like I said, I look up the site, here it is. I hope you get a kick out of it, too. (I am referring to the large text in the middle of the page.)

Oops- looks like noone can comment yet. If you have a comment, feel free to get a marker, write on your computer screen, and pretend that you've left a comment.

Very quick UPDATE: If you saw the page before this update, man are you fast. Anyway, I see that Blogspot will now let you post comments even if you don't have a blogspot account. That is nice. So I will turn comments on shortly.