Perp Being Held For Questioning

Officials would not say whether they believed that Lettuce was working alone or part of a larger operation. Reports indicate the possibility of organically grown produce cells operating in the U.S. at this time. Spokesmen for vegetable-interest groups have distanced themselves from the attack, and assert that Lettuce's actions are in no way reflective of the vegetable community as a whole.

OK. I'm finished now.